Abstract: Patrons of past PizZA participatory parties have made note of a seemingly unphysical amount of sustenance stretched over the multidimensional space-time locale traditionally repeatably referred to as “Holiday Colloquium.” The University of Wisconsin - Madison’s crack-squad of upper-management business brilliants have researched how other institutions manage to acquire the nutritional supplement PizZA in greater quantities and have found an elegant and simple response function. In this talk, a compactified solution to the PizZA problem is presented at first very simply with assistance from the higher-order pile-up theories of Ian and Domino resulting in a final filling factor increase of order 50%.